Seven Dirty Words by Bob Osgoodby
If you hang around the web long enough, you will probably get a nasty, expletive filled note about something. Normally sent by someone who happens to be in a foul mood at the time, pay attention, but don't respond in kind. You might simply be in the wrong place at the right time, and you're their target of opportunity. Anyone in business on the web has experienced this. Who knows what set them off?
Maybe they had a bad day at work, or a fight with their spouse. Maybe someone cut them off on their way home, or they received 30 of the same spam messages in their mail box.
Now here is the intriguing part. Anyone who uses one or more of George Carlin's "seven dirty words" most likely wouldn't in a "face to face" meeting. If you have never heard of the comedian George Carlin, think of seven of the dirtiest words you can, and you will get the point.
Now, if you receive an email like this, there are two things you must do.
First, try to figure out why they sent it. It is normally a response to something you have done or said. Did you spam a newsgroup or an "unmoderated" email list? If so, you probably deserve a "reprimand", but if someone is simply disagreeing with you, try to figure out why. Most of the people on the web are passive in nature, and won't take the time to respond. But you can be sure that if someone does, you have probably "rung the bell" of many others, who simply won't expend the energy to let you know.
Second - never respond in kind. No matter how offended you are, or how tempted you are to respond back, you are making a huge mistake in doing so. Face it. Someone who does this is either ignorant, or unbalanced, and you really don't want to get involved with either. You will simply fuel their fire. Most, who do something like this, calm down after they send their missive, and usually that will be the end of it. But, if you respond back, even if it is in a nice way, you may become their "holy grail".
So what do you do? If you could be at fault, simply ignore it. I know this may be hard to swallow, but if you are in business, it is your best course of action. While you may get momentary satisfaction by responding in the same way, it is normally a big mistake.
If the threat goes beyond simple harassment, report it to the local authorities. In the event that the note contains defamatory statements, there are agencies on the State and Federal level who can help. If you feel threatened by the content of the email, also forward it to their Internet Service Provider (ISP) at their "abuse" email address. Most ISP's will summarily cancel an account that uses language of a threatening nature in an email. If the threat is of a serious nature, they may call in the authorities. While you may not win the battle in this case, you will win the war.
The Internet is very impersonal, and that is a double edged sword. You do have the anonymity provided, so unless you are running a high profile web site, or are active in other ways, people really don't know who you are. While you do enjoy the privacy this offers, it also allows the abuse of this privacy.
The web is really a cross section of people all over the world. You have the highly moral who wouldn't dream of writing an abusive email. At the bottom of the spectrum there are some who if it weren't for low class, wouldn't have any class at all.
As in real life, there are people you like, and some that you don't. If someone has no manners in their day-to-day life, what makes you think they will on the web? While you can avoid them in real life, you can't on the web as their email can slip through to aggravate you. If it is simply annoying, filter it into your Trash Basket so you never even see it.
While you may be tempted to respond back the best way to act, if you get an email with some of those "seven dirty words", is to simply ignore it. If it persists, then exercise some of your other options.
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